I rarely finish a show.
Not because I'm busy. It's because most of the time, nothing really clicks with me. If you've read my intro, you'd know my emotions are weird. Sometimes I get fired up and want to do everything; other times it's just flat, like something's been quietly taken away from me, and I can't muster interest in anything. I think I'm a very strange person, even I can't figure myself out...
That flatness is harder to describe than sadness.
So the day I clicked on Mr. Robot was because someone said: the hacking in this show is real.
Not that TV magic of "bang bang bang, three keystrokes and I'm in" — it's genuine, logical offense and defense: social engineering, exploit development, privilege escalation, every step has a basis. I've always been interested in cybersecurity, so I wanted to check it out.
And then I finished it. Yeah.
What pulled me in wasn't the tech.
It was because it kept surprising me. Every time I thought I knew what would happen next, it quietly took a turn. Not the kind of twist for twist's sake, but that feeling of "the world is really like this, you just didn't know."
While watching, I paused several times — not because I was tired, just needed a moment, I guess = =
The protagonist, Elliot, is a hacker. Socially anxious, living inside his own head, working alone in front of a screen at night. He has a little fish named Qwerty, because a fish doesn't need much.
By day he's a normal person; by night he hacks into other people's computers. Not for money — because he can't stand it. He feels something is wrong with this world. He wants to do something. Even if it's just one thing. Even if no one knows he did it.
For some reason, I think I can relate to that feeling.
It's not that grand ambition. Not about changing the world.
It's just — I don't want to be like this anymore. Don't want to wake up every day, do the same things, sleep, wake up again, repeat. Not knowing what makes today different from yesterday. Not knowing, if this goes on, which direction counts as moving forward.
Elliot calls it: "This world is controlled by a few people, and we're just pretending to live freely."
There's a setup in the show where Elliot talks directly to the camera. Throughout the series, he treats the audience as his only friend. A friend that exists only in his head.
He says: Hello, friend.
The first time I heard it, I smiled. Then felt a little sad?
This show is way too niche in mainland China. Almost no one has seen it. It has a rating on Douban, but barely any buzz. Everyone's watching other things.
I don't know if that's a shame. Maybe not. Some things just exist quietly, waiting for the people they're meant to meet.
I'm not saying you have to watch it.
Just, I recommend it? Maybe give it a try? Just the first episode. Decide after that.
Or don't, that's fine too.
I just wanted to put it here.
Hello, passerby.
Hello, friend